Quotes

Many of these quotes are taken from the Myth books written by Robert Asprin.
I highly recommend them for reading.

Life is full of rude awakenings. - R. V. Winkle -

First Impressions, being the longest lasting, are of utmost importance. - J. Carter -

Ninety percent of any business transaction is selling yourself to the client. - X. Hollander -

That's entertainment! - Vlad the Impaler -

Numerical superiority is of no consequence. In battle, victory goes to the best tactician. - G. A. Custer -

There is more at stake here than our lives. -Col. Travis - (Alamo Pep Talk)

One need not fear superior numbers if the opposing force has been properly scouted and appraised. - S. Bull -

Should old acquaintance be forgot… - Count of Monte Cristo –

This is no game for old men! Send in the boys! – W. Hays –

Hold the pickles, hold the lettuce. – Henry VIII –

We’re looking for a few good men. – B. Cassidy –

I’ll worry about it tomorrow. – S. O’Hara –

Myth-conceptions are the major cause of wars! – A. Hitler –

Diplomacy is the delicate weapon of the civilized warrior. – Hun, A. T. –

What if they gave a war and only one side came? – Lucifer –

What am I doing here? – Any recruit, any army. –

We want to make you feel at home. – L. Borgia –

Squeeze, don’t jerk the trigger. – R. Rogers –

Boards don’t hit back! – B. Lee –

It takes one to know one! – Jack D. Ripper –

Manners are acquired, not inherited. – S. Penn –

Weren’t you expecting me? – J. Rambo –

You countermanded me?! On whose authority?! – Pope John –

Has anybody got a plan? – G. A. Custer –

Why should I pay a troll just to cross a bridge? – B. G. Gruff –

What are friends for? – R. M. Nixon –

Life is full of little surprises. – Pandora –

This contest has to be the dumbest thing I’ve ever seen. – H. Cosell –

If you can’t win fair, just win! – U. S. Grant –

Winning isn’t the most important thing; it’s the only thing. – J. Caesar –

Ask not for whom the bell tolls. – M. Ali –

Reputations are fine up to a point. After that they become a pain! – D. Juan –

Success often hinges on choosing a reliable partner. – Remus –

Reliable information is a must for successful planning. – C. Columbus –

An agent is a vampire with a telephone. – Any client –

First, let’s decide who’s leading and who’s following. – F. Astaire –

Nice jail. Looks strong. – H. Houdini –

For the right person, the impossible is easy. – Dumbo –

I’ve never seen so many Indians. – G. A. Custer –

Relax, Julie. Everyone will understand. – Romeo –

Everybody needs a career manager. – Lady Macbeth –

I didn’t come all this way to sit out the fight! – R. Balboa –

There’s no accounting for taste. – Colonel Sanders –

Nobody’s seen it all. – Marco Polo –

I just need to pick up a few things. – I. Marcos –

There’s no place like home. – H. Johnson –

There’s never a cop around when you need one! – A. Capone –

How come I get all the hard questions? – O. North –

Is it just me, or does it seem to you I get more than my share of troubles? – Job –

It’s good to see you, too. – H. Livingston, M.D. –

I’m getting paid how much?! – M. Jordan –

What you need is a collection agency. – D. Schultz –

Money is the root of all evil. Women need roots. – D. Trump –

You just don’t know women. – H. Hefner –

Love is blind. Lust isn’t. – D. Giovani –

I love the nightlife. – V. Dracula –

The secret of popularity is confidence. – W. Allen –

Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall take flack from both sides. – Unofficial U.N. Motto –

What am I supposed to do with all this gold? – Midas, Rex –

Meanwhile, back at reality… - G. Lucas –

When old friends get together, everything else fades to insignificance. – War, Famine, Pestilence, and Death –

That’s funny; I never have any trouble with service when I’m shopping. – K. Kong –

‘Weird’ is a relative, not an absolute term. – Baron Frank N. Furter –

A friend in need is a pest. – Unknown –

Once more into the breach… - Hugo, The Human Cannonball –

Old heroes never die; they reappear in sequels. – M. Moorcock –

What do you mean, ‘You’ve got a little job for me’? – Hercules –

Out of the frying pan, into der fire. – Swedish Chef –

…or was it unlock the safe then swim to the surface? – H. Houdini –

…and then the fun began. – N. Bonaparte –

I’m sure we can talk things out like civilized people. – J. Wayne –

What’s the point spread on World War III? – R. Reagan