As my status today (Monday, August 22, 2011) says, "On Facebok, people tend to be more positive in their status updates. It takes guts to post something that is troubling you or saddens you or to even admit that you are sad or troubled. For those who are sad or troubled, please know that I am open and available to talk with. You can message me or call me. I'm your friend and I'm here for you. I also have big shoulders so feel free to lean or cry on them. That's why I'm here." it made me think of some things Keri and I were talking about.
Facebook is sorta fake.
People post their status to be funny or to mention good things that happen or to show support for the troops or a favorite sports team, but rarely do you read a status of someones saddeness.
I understand how hard that is. It leaves you vulnerable to open yourself up to tell people about troubles or trials in your life. To mention almost in passing that you are having a down day or can't stop crying for some reason.
To open up like that brings the possibility of scorn, or people ignoring you, or teasing you, or thinking that maybe they don't want to talk to you because either you will bring them down or they just don't know what to say.
So we post cute little quotes, or copy someone else's status, or just talk about chores or errands we have to do or have done already. When really we are lonely, tired, sad, so angry it's making you cry just thinking about it.
Maybe you've experienced the loss of a friend, whether through sickness, old age, or because they just don't want to be your friend anymore. At this point in time you begin to question yourself and wonder if you are a good person. Maybe you didn't reach out enough or maybe you tried too hard to stay in contact and it seemed pushy to them.
Maybe you yourself are having a moment of loneliness and/or depression. You can't explain it. You don't know where these feelings came from or why they sprung up out of the blue. Even worse you feel silly for even thinking of putting it as a Facebook status.
To make things even worse, we tell people to get on Facebook just so we can keep in contact and we can tell our friends how we are doing and what we are doing! But we don't!
And that to me is so very sad.
I have many friends on Facebook. Some I've never met offline. Some I haven't seen in almost 20 years. Some even longer than that. But they are still my friends. I searched for them. I found them. I congratulate them on their achievements or new additions to the family or on their birthdays.
I'm not the greatest person at staying in contact but I do try to read just about everyone's status nearly every day.
But I rarely get to see them. Even their status is sort of generalized. Then I look back and see that, gosh, so are mine. I've become part of the status quo. I rarely share that which is truly happening in my life and then I wonder why no one seems to care.
It's a sad and vicious circle. But I hope to begin changing that.
I'm going to try and start actually writing how I feel. What's really going on. Why am I feeling the way I'm feeling.
But what about my friends? I'm supposed to be their friend and they are supposed to be mine. I'm supposed to pray and support my friends whenever I learn of any misfortune or heartache in their lives.
And now I will try. I cannot promise that I will all the time. I cannot promise that I will always understand your predicament or your frame of mind. But I can promise that I will try.
I will try to be available to talk with. Whether by phone, or email, or Facebook messaging. Even if it's a simple note on your Wall or comment on your status. Somehow I hope to become better at being your friend.
What about you? What are you going through that you have been to worried about posting as it would take too much to explain? What about yuor feelings, or events in your life? Do you need a shoulder, whether real or virtual, to cry on or lean on?
Even simple things, like getting out of the house.
As some of you know, I don't have a job. I've recounted and found that I have applied at nearly 30 different jobs since the 14th of July and only heard back from one of them. So as of right now, my time is open. I have the time to talk, I have the time to visit (if within driving distance), I have the time to hang out with or to go on errands with.
Many of you are stay at home moms. Getting out and doing anything is somewhat of a tough thing to do. After all you have kids and, while I have none, I have babysat quite a few times in my life.
So to all of you, my Facebook friends, I make this offer.
I have the time. I have the desire. Do you need to go shopping? Have the lawns done? Clean house? Maybe it's "Please will someone babysit for just an hour so I can get a quick nap?" time for you!
Call me.
You might need to talk about ANYTHING with someone OLDER than 5 or 7 years old. Maybe you need to talk to someone about issues you are dealing with and you need someone to just listen so you can talk out your problems.
I'm married, I'm pretty good at listening...at least I think that's what my wife said.
No matter what, no matter the need. I'm your friend and I'm here for you.
I hope to hear from you.
Take care.
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