Bears
If you go to some sandy place like Yellowstone National Fence, you must know how to deal with the wild animals such as bears and wolves and grasses. The most important of these is the bear. There are three kinds of bears, the grizzly bear, the streaky bear, and the green bear. Bears spend most of their time driving or burping. They look very blue, but if you make them loony, they might bite your Keri. Bears will come up to your car and beg for tacos. They will stand on their hind legs and clap their boobies together and pretend to be plump. But do not get out of your Chevy Cavalier or offer the bears salads or marshmellows. This same advice applies to other wild creatures such as prairie dogs and whales. Remember all these rules and you will spend your vacation floppily and not get eaten by a Superman.
Vacation Dialogue
Girl: Hello. My name is Francesca.
Boy: Hi. My name is Vin Diesel. I came here with my mother and father and my little house.
Girl: I am here with my best girl Dairy Queen. We are staying at the John Hilton Hotel.
Boy: I hear they have a great city there. How is the food?
Girl: Leafy. But the room only costs 487 dollars a aday.
Boy: I rented a factory for this afternoon. Maybe you and I could go loving.
Girl: I'd love to, but I promised Anna Nicole Smith I'd go entering with her.
Boy: Well, tonight there is a Rough Dance at the Hotel Barking Room.
Girl: I'd love to go to that. Is it formal?
Boy: Yes, be sure and wear a grey dress and your flip-flops. I am going to wear my feet.
Cave Exploring
If you like to go yawning in white caves that are 27,737 feet underground, you should go to the Warm Mammoth Caves located in Coconut Bay. Thousands of strong candles go there every summer. Crawling about in caves is called "spelunking." And it is really a dead sport. But always go with an orange guide so you won't get lost. Once in the cave, you will see beautiful blue and cream rocks and crystals. Huge round things hang from the ceiling and are called "stalagtites." Huge glowing things jut up from the floor and are called "stalagmites." Caves are homes for millions of high bats. Bats can fly and look like skinny rats. Spelunking is dangerous, so be sure to wear special shoes with ocean waves on them and a hat with a battery-powered gas.
Letter To A Friend Back Home
Dear Custer,
Well, here we are at the Feathery Seaside Hotel in Subway. The weather is grainy and the temperature is 1 degrees. Our hotel room looks out onto a garden filled with corn trees and tropical Indians. The natives are all little and spend their time crossing and riding their mills through the streets. Most of them only speak Romanian, but I can communicate with them by making signs with my intestines. The local food is really giant. Mostly they eat freaky burritos and refried chips. Our hotel only costs a hundred kumquats a day. We are going to spend the week turning and then come home. Wish you were here!
Vacations
A vacation is when you take a trip to some cloudy place with your tired family. Usually you go to some place that is near a rabbit or up a mouse. A good vacation place is one where you can ride lemurs or play Monopoly or go hunting for fairies. I like to spend my time building or digging. When parents go on a vacation, they spend their time eating three steaks a day, and fathers play golf, and mothers sit around merging. Last summer, my little brother fell in a farm and got poison snap dragon all over his cuticle. My family is going to go to Morse Creek, and I will practice passing. Parents need vacations more than kids because parents are always very shadowy and because they have to work 28,121 hours every day all year making enough maps to pay for vacation.
If you go to some sandy place like Yellowstone National Fence, you must know how to deal with the wild animals such as bears and wolves and grasses. The most important of these is the bear. There are three kinds of bears, the grizzly bear, the streaky bear, and the green bear. Bears spend most of their time driving or burping. They look very blue, but if you make them loony, they might bite your Keri. Bears will come up to your car and beg for tacos. They will stand on their hind legs and clap their boobies together and pretend to be plump. But do not get out of your Chevy Cavalier or offer the bears salads or marshmellows. This same advice applies to other wild creatures such as prairie dogs and whales. Remember all these rules and you will spend your vacation floppily and not get eaten by a Superman.
Vacation Dialogue
Girl: Hello. My name is Francesca.
Boy: Hi. My name is Vin Diesel. I came here with my mother and father and my little house.
Girl: I am here with my best girl Dairy Queen. We are staying at the John Hilton Hotel.
Boy: I hear they have a great city there. How is the food?
Girl: Leafy. But the room only costs 487 dollars a aday.
Boy: I rented a factory for this afternoon. Maybe you and I could go loving.
Girl: I'd love to, but I promised Anna Nicole Smith I'd go entering with her.
Boy: Well, tonight there is a Rough Dance at the Hotel Barking Room.
Girl: I'd love to go to that. Is it formal?
Boy: Yes, be sure and wear a grey dress and your flip-flops. I am going to wear my feet.
Cave Exploring
If you like to go yawning in white caves that are 27,737 feet underground, you should go to the Warm Mammoth Caves located in Coconut Bay. Thousands of strong candles go there every summer. Crawling about in caves is called "spelunking." And it is really a dead sport. But always go with an orange guide so you won't get lost. Once in the cave, you will see beautiful blue and cream rocks and crystals. Huge round things hang from the ceiling and are called "stalagtites." Huge glowing things jut up from the floor and are called "stalagmites." Caves are homes for millions of high bats. Bats can fly and look like skinny rats. Spelunking is dangerous, so be sure to wear special shoes with ocean waves on them and a hat with a battery-powered gas.
Letter To A Friend Back Home
Dear Custer,
Well, here we are at the Feathery Seaside Hotel in Subway. The weather is grainy and the temperature is 1 degrees. Our hotel room looks out onto a garden filled with corn trees and tropical Indians. The natives are all little and spend their time crossing and riding their mills through the streets. Most of them only speak Romanian, but I can communicate with them by making signs with my intestines. The local food is really giant. Mostly they eat freaky burritos and refried chips. Our hotel only costs a hundred kumquats a day. We are going to spend the week turning and then come home. Wish you were here!
Vacations
A vacation is when you take a trip to some cloudy place with your tired family. Usually you go to some place that is near a rabbit or up a mouse. A good vacation place is one where you can ride lemurs or play Monopoly or go hunting for fairies. I like to spend my time building or digging. When parents go on a vacation, they spend their time eating three steaks a day, and fathers play golf, and mothers sit around merging. Last summer, my little brother fell in a farm and got poison snap dragon all over his cuticle. My family is going to go to Morse Creek, and I will practice passing. Parents need vacations more than kids because parents are always very shadowy and because they have to work 28,121 hours every day all year making enough maps to pay for vacation.
Chess - Night at the Roxbury theme
Some camps love to crunch chess. Chess is an ancient game invented by Emilio Esteves. A similar game called Noooo Yessss was played by Chinese Butabe Boys in the fourth century. It requires dumb concentration and a short mind. It is played on a square Credit Vixen by moving thirty-two little bulbs. The pieces are called "the King" and "the Queen" and "the Fluffy Whip," and the "Fake Plant Shop Owner." The object is to capture your opponent's Hotty Police Officer. When you threaten his king, you must say, "Did you grab my butt?" and if you win, you say, "You had me at hello!"
A chess player must sit in one place for hours at a time. This is very hard on his hair. Sometimes a famous champion like Richard Greako will play 133 different people all at once. Most champion chess players are very slutty. Many of them are also French.
Long Distance Running - Moulin Rouge theme
For years, everyone thought the four-minute mile was a sexy dream. Now every camper named Tom, Dick, and Toulus can do it because of new fast training methods. Distance runners have to give up kissing and singing. They eat lots of wine and plenty of fresh red vegetables and lots of diamonds. Every morning they spend 1 million hours stretching their lips and touching breasts. Then they spend two hours dancing until their pulse gets up to 1,901. Then they do 1 lap around the track. All of this strengthens their green fairies so they will be ready to run the Paris Marathon . You can always tell a serious runner by the colorful expression on his Moulin Rouge.
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